Awesomeness... what does it mean?

To some it is a word that is hard to say without spitting crumbs all over the place when you have saltines in your mouth. Or perhaps pretzels. To others it is a very high pinnacle, one that could never, ever be reached. Higher than many other pinnacles around it. Like the tallest pinnacle in the Great Lost City of Pinnacles. But what awesomeness means to a rare, select, chosen and carefully-plucked-with-the-thumb-and-forefinger few is a way of life. Yes, some truly amazing individuals make it their mission to be… awesomeness.

Prepare yourself to enter the fabulous world of high adventure with the Heroes of Awesomeness and their utterly magnificent and bulgingly muscled captain… Rolltar. But be warned, intrepid reader – you should only embark upon these hastily scrawled pieces of parchment (which have since been transcribed into Microsoft Word) if you be stout of both mind and brain. For within these manuscripts are tales of such harrowing peril and monstrous terror that you will surely leap out of a high window or throw yourself in front of a passing turnip wagon if only to be free of these horrible images. If you dare continue, know that your eyeballs will bear you a grudge for at least twelve to fourteen months for succumbing them to such unspeakable sentences and paragraphs of doom.

You have been mercifully warned. Now let us begin, brave souls…